How Open Heart Coaching Came To Be 03/09/2010
On January 23, 2009, I emailed my close friend an update on my relationship which I had just ended after 9 months of being together. I wrote: I’m sick of open relationship drama (open heart surgery or maybe it’s open ego surgery...hmmm maybe I’ll use that in my next blog). After I wrote that email, I spent two weeks by myself licking my wounds and doing quite a bit of...yoga. On New Year’s Eve I let go of the drama and got in touch with what my heart truly wanted. It wanted to go back on the operating table one more time. Yes, I was sick of feeling jealous. Yes, I was tired of comparing myself to other women and yes, I was exhausted of feeling uncertain but all of those thoughts were my mind’s way of fighting what my heart already knew: I wanted to be connected to this person and I didn’t want either of us to completely lose ourselves and our dreams in the process. Those two weeks were not about eating ice cream and feeling sorry for myself (although I did indulge in that break up fantasy for a day or two). They were about connecting to me again - my fears, my ideas, my deep appreciation for myself and the people around me. 3 months later, we are still in relationship to one another. With a few tools and resources, we have become better surgeons, both in opening our hearts and sewing them back up when it is time for rest and recovery. When we cannot feel the pulse of our relationship, we know we need to find our own pulses. So, we take the time to do that and then come back together to uncover the next layer of our relationship. Sometimes, we move effortlessly. Sometimes, we do not. Sometimes, it looks good. Sometimes, it definitely does not. Nevertheless, I always come back to placing one hand on my heart and one hand on my belly and I listen and I feel for what’s now and what’s next. The rest follows from there. (Just to clarify, that’s how we do it because that’s what we do and there are many other ways to be in and define your relationship, many of which I will explore in this blog.) Last week was a period of needing space to find our individual heartbeats again. As usual, the uncertainty of when we would come back together was uncomfortable. Instead of grasping for reassurance from him (well, I did grasp out of old habits but I did it less so and realized quickly it wouldn’t give me what I actually wanted), I reached out to a few friends. I went to see a beautifully open-hearted friend and we talked about our prospective coaching businesses and I said to him, I was thinking about calling it “Open Heart Coaching.” His eyes lit up and he said he loved it. I was surprised. I thought he would make fun of it. I thought everyone would make fun of it but he knew and I knew that I wasn’t talking about some mushy lovey surface stuff. I was talking about the real and raw spectrum of our heart’s desires from the “good” to the “bad,” from the cute hearts you doodle on your books to the bloody human heart that keeps beating no matter what. On Saturday morning, I felt the last puzzle piece to this story fall into place. I went on a day-long meditation retreat with Ed Brown at Green Gulch Farm. There was a long list of things I should have been doing but the Lindsay that knew better drove my busy ass to that farm. I took my seat on the meditation cushion and Ed spoke about not abandoning yourself. He said it wasn’t so useful, just like using rules to boss yourself around, and letting fears stop you from expressing your heart. I smiled at hearing something so true and then thought easier said than done. An hour later, while I was sitting and staring at the blank wall, it was easy and it had already been done. The logo, the dreams, and the path for my coaching practice had appeared. So, this is the story of the birth of Open Heart Coaching. There will be many more stories to follow, as I continue on this path of relationships, coaching, LIFE. Questions? Comments? I’m all ears. As I venture out in finding freedom in being myself and guiding others to do the same, I will blog to you, out there, wherever you are so stay tuned and stay connected. With lots of love, LC CommentsKenan Wang 03/11/2010 10:19:20 am Fucking Fabulous... I never use the word fabulous by the way. This is beautiful and a real inspiration. Hannah 03/11/2010 10:56:49 am This is really beautiful and raw. So proud of you <3 03/11/2010 3:55:29 pm I love the name, and I love the signpost. That's what we all really want, isn't it? A heart open to receive the love we need. Lopez 11/03/2011 12:09:52 pm This was an informative article. Have you ever heard of Leave a Reply |
